(Photo credit: http://www.underwatersculpture.com)
Has anyone ever told you to be authentic? Have you ever asked yourself, “Am I real?”
Well, are you? Do you prefer your connections – be it a friendship, a significant other, or even a family member – to be as deep as they can be?
Or do you like living on the surface? Smiles, small talk, nothing ever too close. Friends are really acquaintances and family members are distant people who happen to live under the same roof.
But what does it mean to live on the surface?
Well, one, it’s safe. Two, it’s lifeless. And three, it lacks meaning.
Case in point: the people you know and trust…how many of the deep things about yourself have you shared with them? How much have you encouraged them to go deep with you?
Or, consider this scenario: you have this great popular friend just about everyone loves. But you, for the life of it, can’t understand why. Sure, they’re fun – sometimes. But is it really possible to be happy all the time? Always friendly, always bright, always ready to meet new people and do new things? A surface friend would ignore what they’re feeling, instead of letting some real soul searching uncover why a possible spirit of jealousy has crept in.
On the other hand, a subterraneous person will go to any depth to discover why they have let or are letting jealousy creep into their hearts. And if left to fester, they know that spirit can destroy a good friendship, and possibly a great one.
So, on our new journey to get more “deep” with ourselves, here’s an exercise that may help you become more of a subterraneous person, and consequently, a better friend, spouse, child, (even writer), who avoids the life of a surface surfer – the people who do just enough to be accepted by others.
Get a pen and pad. Go to a mirror. Without speaking, stare into your eyes for a few seconds. In your mind, ask yourself: “Self,” at your deepest level, what kind of person are you?”
Quickly, write the first three words that came to mind. Got them? Good.
So let me ask: When you were thinking about your three words, did another word that caused you some discomfort keep surfacing? Don’t ignore that word. That’s your real word. It could be a word of insecurity, negativity, positivity, something everyone’s always told you about yourself, or something else, something much deeper. You should ask yourself what led you to that word. That unanswered question is preventing you from going deep in your life. Remember, nothing thrives on the surface unless it’s deeply rooted.
When I looked into the mirror, these words came to mind: caring, nurturer, and loving. However, I kept trying to throw out one word from my mind – fear.
It’s a common word – everyone has it. But for me, I had to understand why I had it. Ultimately, it’s because I worry. I worry that I won’t be able to provide for my love ones, thereby, not being able to be the caring, nurturing, loving husband and father. Crazy, huh? But that’s how fear works.
Coming to grips with your word, and how to let go – or, if your word was positive, how to hold onto it – are amazing steps to becoming a more authentic you.
I have learned over the years that understanding what was keeping me from being the real me lead me to a deeper realization of myself. A deeper realization of yourself may help you to go deeper in your relationships, so you can navigate at greater levels in every walk of your life.
Just like in the above image, we would have never had the chance to see this breathtaking image, if someone hadn’t went down deep below the surface.
There’s another world beneath the watery surface, a beautiful world. There’s also a more beautiful you below the surface. Go deep and uncover the real you, the world is waiting.
What was your word? Feel free to share: honesty breeds connection. And thank you for sharing.
Where is the Wealthiest place on earth?
Many believe it’s in the oil rich reserves of the Middle East. Or the diamond mines of South Africa. There are even those who tell you it’s in all the cemeteries of the world.
None of those answers are correct, not one.
Of the three places mentioned, why would people believe wealth could ever possibly be in the grave? You no doubt heard this overused and under-thought excuse: “Many people in cemeteries died before their treasures could be realized.”
A treasure that can’t be accessed isn’t a treasure.
No, there are zero treasures in the cemeteries, none of which are of any value to us.
So where does all the wealth of the world lie? Where it’s always been, right here.
Our true wealth is in the living. So, instead of focusing on what could have been, let’s gear our hearts and minds on what can be.
Case in point:
An eight-year-old boy turned in filthy homework every day. It had soot all over it, smearing the pages with dirty smudges. It smelled of smoke, and so did the boy. The kids would laugh, and every time he handed it to his teacher, she begrudgingly accepted it; for a week this went on. Finally at end of the week she said: “meet with me after class.”
“Why is your work like this? Don’t you care enough about school not to hand in work like this?”
With his head down, the boy answered. “Our house caught on fire. Our furniture was ruined; there was water everywhere, and we had nowhere else to go, so we had to move back in. All of the lights won’t work, so I have to do my homework by candlelight.”
With tears in her eyes, she gladly accepted the homework and told the boy he could do his homework after class in her classroom.
That’s why I believe the wealth of the world is in the hearts and minds of our children and the people of all nations, who have the fortitude to not give up. Period.
If you’re not familiar with our Good Friday, please read: Good Fridays. If you like, please join us for this Good Friday.
Our Good Friday: Read a book to a child before Friday, then come back and tell us how it went. And as always, keep your head up.