(Photo credit: http://www.underwatersculpture.com)

Has anyone ever told you to be authentic? Have you ever asked yourself, “Am I real?”

Well, are you? Do you prefer your connections – be it a friendship, a significant other, or even a family member – to be as deep as they can be?

Or do you like living on the surface? Smiles, small talk, nothing ever too close. Friends are really acquaintances and family members are distant people who happen to live under the same roof.

But what does it mean to live on the surface?

Well, one, it’s safe. Two, it’s lifeless. And three, it lacks meaning.

Case in point: the people you know and trust…how many of the deep things about yourself have you shared with them? How much have you encouraged them to go deep with you?

Or, consider this scenario: you have this great popular friend just about everyone loves. But you, for the life of it, can’t understand why. Sure, they’re fun – sometimes. But is it really possible to be happy all the time? Always friendly, always bright, always ready to meet new people and do new things? A surface friend would ignore what they’re feeling, instead of letting some real soul searching uncover why a possible spirit of jealousy has crept in.

On the other hand, a subterraneous person will go to any depth to discover why they have let or are letting jealousy creep into their hearts. And if left to fester, they know that spirit can destroy a good friendship, and possibly a great one.

So, on our new journey to get more “deep” with ourselves, here’s an exercise that may help you become more of a subterraneous person, and consequently, a better friend, spouse, child, (even writer), who avoids the life of a surface surfer – the people who do just enough to be accepted by others.

Get a pen and pad. Go to a mirror. Without speaking, stare into your eyes for a few seconds. In your mind, ask yourself: “Self,” at your deepest level, what kind of person are you?”

Quickly, write the first three words that came to mind. Got them? Good.

So let me ask: When you were thinking about your three words, did another word that caused you some discomfort keep surfacing? Don’t ignore that word. That’s your real word. It could be a word of insecurity, negativity, positivity, something everyone’s always told you about yourself, or something else, something much deeper. You should ask yourself what led you to that word. That unanswered question is preventing you from going deep in your life. Remember, nothing thrives on the surface unless it’s deeply rooted.

When I looked into the mirror, these words came to mind: caring, nurturer, and loving. However, I kept trying to throw out one word from my mind – fear.

It’s a common word – everyone has it. But for me, I had to understand why I had it. Ultimately, it’s because I worry. I worry that I won’t be able to provide for my love ones, thereby, not being able to be the caring, nurturing, loving husband and father. Crazy, huh? But that’s how fear works.

Coming to grips with your word, and how to let go – or, if your word was positive, how to hold onto it – are amazing steps to becoming a more authentic you.

I have learned over the years that understanding what was keeping me from being the real me lead me to a deeper realization of myself. A deeper realization of yourself may help you to go deeper in your relationships, so you can navigate at greater levels in every walk of your life.

Just like in the above image, we would have never had the chance to see this breathtaking image, if someone hadn’t went down deep below the surface.

There’s another world beneath the watery surface, a beautiful world. There’s also a more beautiful you below the surface. Go deep and uncover the real you, the world is waiting.

What was your word? Feel free to share: honesty breeds connection. And thank you for sharing.